Getting Started at the Gym with Less Anxiety and More Confidence.

How Parents Can Help Their Teens Reduce Gym Anxiety

If you've ever worked out in a gym then you may recall your first experiences feeling a nervousness in your stomach and an uneasy concern with looking inexperienced and awkward, or potentially being judged by others.

For teenagers, who are in a developmental phase of increased social awareness and self-judgement, these thoughts and feelings can lead to high anxiety and make gym workouts extra challenging. 

Being in a new space around new equipment and unfamiliar people who all seem to be experienced, can put an adolescent in a vulnerable and socially intimidating situation.

It's easy to feel overwhelmed and outnumbered.

If you have a teen or young adult who wants to start working out and get in better shape, lose weight, tone up, build endurance, get stronger, increase energy, or just get healthier overall but is fearful of getting started, following are simple strategies you can use to help your teen overcome their emotional discomfort and mental anxiety.

What is Gym Anxiety

Exercising alone can be intimidating at the start and often leads to a series of worries that add stress with each visit to the gym.

Concerns with what other people might be thinking or perceiving. Fear of being judged for appearances, or for lack of knowledge and ability.

The result is an increasing and consistent stress that is difficult to resolve. For some, it becomes overwhelming thoughts that persist throughout their time at the gym and can greatly reduce their enjoyment and become an impediment to reaching their goals.

Teens who struggle with anxiety at the beginning of their new gym experience may not know what to do or how to resolve it. The resulting behavior can be to avoid or outright quit to end the anxious thoughts and feelings.

Common Gym Anxiety Concerns

Being in a gym environment for the first time can be vulnerable and scary at the same time. There’s often an intimidation factor that increases anxious thoughts that everyone else is better and more confident.

To provide greater context, common anxious thoughts or feelings might include:

·       Thoughts of inadequacy related to inexperience, knowledge or ability

·       Feelings of being watched or judged by others

·       Concerns with appearances like gym attire or body size and shape

·       Unable to make decisions for fear of being “wrong”

·       Discomfort with being alone

·       Fear of potentially not being accepted

·       Fear of ridicule for performing movements and exercises incorrectly

Strategies for Overcoming Gym Anxiety

When getting started with any new exercise program, talking with your teen to help set realistic expectations can go a long way in easing concerns.

• Point out that everyone started in a similar place as they are now. Nobody is an expert the first time they walk into a gym. They were all new to it at some point.

• Reinforce that a focus on learning and building skills will do more to gain experience and lead to their goal of greater mastery and confidence, than worrying about what others are doing.

• Encourage your teen to practice self-kindness by being patient with their progress and acknowledging it’s okay to make mistakes or ask for help.

• Promote seeking out support to help ease into the new environment and become more comfortable, whether it's attending with a friend or family member, joining a group workout, or hiring a personal trainer.

• Finally, help your teen make a conscious mindset shift by placing greater emphasis on the process and personal results, over superficial thoughts like, do I look good doing this?

When your teen is focused on properly performing their movement to avoid injury, stimulate optimal muscle activation, and ultimately maximize results, it shifts the emphasis away from social concerns and helps reduce emotional anxiety that can derail good intentions.

How to Take a Gradual Approach

For some teens and young adults who are completely new to exercise, a more gradual approach can go much further in offsetting potential anxiety and increasing comfort. There’s less chance for feeling out of place and a desire to quit out of overwhelm or embarrassment.

Think of this approach as a personal fitness journey with stepping stones towards a goal.

Begin at the level that’s right for your teen and scale up as their comfort level, abilities, and confidence increase.

Online Programs

An ideal start might be with full body focused fitness videos that emphasize gentle body weight exercises and/or aerobic fitness. Programs like these teach the exercise basics while building knowledge around movements and form, without weight loads that could cause injury or crowded environments that can feel intimidating.

The value of this approach is it also preconditions the body and preps it for more intense workouts in the future, while building an initial foundation of self-reliance and confidence.

Group Exercise Programs

Next, moving into group exercise programs offers a social aspect that can boost comfort and confidence.

Ideally choose one that’s at your teen’s level or expertise. Whether it’s a beginner, intermediate or experienced class. Working with a group that’s at a comparable stage with similar fitness interests will help reduce the comparison factor and expose your teen to other like-minded individuals with similar abilities. Most of all, it highlights that while everyone's working on their own fitness journey, it can still be a supportive and non-judgmental space where everyone grows.

Participating in programs like these provide the benefits of decreasing performance anxiety, comparison, and fear of inadequecy, while increasing confidence and boosting a sense of community and comradery.

Small Gym vs Big Box Gym

When your teen is ready, moving into an individual workout at a weight training gym, or similar, will feel easier and more natural. Consider the size and type of gym in comparison to your teens comfort level with scale.

Much like making college campus visits to identify a fit, visiting several types and sizes of gyms can also help find a proper fit.

Explore the equipment, staff services, policies, group class availability, gym culture, and peak hours to ensure these factors won’t overwhelm or intimidate your teen.

Strategies for Greater Confidence

Within a new gym environment there’s a few additional ways to help further reduce the intimidation factor and increase comfort level for your teen:

• If you already exercise or also want to get started on your own exercise plan, go with your teen to the gym. Depending on their anxiety or comfort level, workout with them or do your own thing. Sometimes just knowing you’re also at the gym can provide comfort for a nervous teen. Additionally, it’s an opportunity for you to be more fully aware of the environment they’re in and share experiences while there.

• Take advantage of a complimentary training session, if offered, to familiarize your teen with equipment specific to that gym, learn the gym culture or rules, and create a workout routine.

• Hire a trainer – having a dedicated trainer to teach equipment, ideal body and lifting form, provide workout routines with repetitions and sets, and offering proper stretching or recovery exercise can go a long way in resolving many of the common worries. An experienced trainer, can help eliminate thoughts like “ am I doing this right? Is this the correct form? Am I making sure I'm not hurting myself, am I doing it right and not embarrassing myself?” that often fuel anxiety.

• Consider a specialized gym to meet like-minded participants who have similar goals in mind, such as female only, personal trainer only, or specialized workout gyms like boxing, cross-fit, parkour, ski conditioning, or Pilates reformer.

• Have your teen identify and work on personal goals. This encourages focus on their individual growth and achievement rather than comparison of others.

• Help your teen create a workout plan for each gym session. Knowing what muscle groups to focus on, the sequence and sets of exercises, combined with a warm up and cool down plan will help the time at the gym go more smoothly and feel less awkward.

• Encourage your teen to ask questions and learn from others who are willing to provide a tip or friendly advice.

• Establish consistent days and times of the week or specific group classes to insure your teen is meeting and seeing the same people, further building a sense of comfort and community.

• Help your teen realize they’re not the only one who makes mistakes, by pointing out mistakes you’ve made or by helping someone else at the gym, demonstrating other people also struggle and it’s kind to help out.

• Teach your teen to ask for help. Show them being venerable is okay and opens doors to meet people and develop friendships.

• Suggest working out with a friend at the start. In the beginning it can be a comfort to have a friend along but when friends skip or drop out, it can stop your teen from going. Have your teen arrive with friends but after the first few times at the gym, start separating to do their own individual workouts. This approach will decrease reliance on others while also providing the moral support they seek.

• Designate a workout buddy your teen meets at the gym. This method can increase motivation knowing they have a familiar face waiting for them. Someone with common goals, rather than a disinterested friend who just wants to chat and socialize.

• Discourage comparison. Everyone is on their own journey, has their own goals, their own strengths, limitations and struggles. The point of personal training is for your teen to focus on their individual needs and goals, set their own personal benchmarks and celebrate their own wins. Having this mindset will build greater confidence than any form of comparison of other people ever will.

• Most of all prioritize consistency. The more your teen makes exercise a part of their daily schedule and their life, the more it turns into a natural habit that feels fun and rewarding.

• Validate your teen’s wins along the way, celebrate their progress, and reinforce new skills or abilities gained.

Key Takeaways

Gym anxiety can be overwhelming for teens and young adults just starting on a fitness journey. But individual goal setting, gradual progression, a supportive network, and consistency are cornerstones to building greater comfort and confidence with less fear and anxiety.

By leveraging these strategies and reinforcing positive results, your teen will develop feelings of empowerment and a love of exercise that leads to lifelong enjoyment and well-being.