How to Help Your Teen Lose Weight and Build Confidence
For a teen struggling with overweight or obesity it can be a daily self-esteem roller coaster and flip-flopping of weight loss strategies.
As a parent watching your teen go through this, it can be stressful and frustrating. One minute she’s fine and the next she’s upset and desperately wants to lose the weight, fast. She says she wants your help and next complaining you’re picking on her. Sound familiar?
If she’s like many teens, whether she needs to lose weight or not, she’s probably tried numerous fad diets and has confused ideas about ideal body weight, size and dieting.
Whether it’s an elimination or restriction diet, intermittent fasting, calorie counting, rigorous exercise programs, diet pills or more concerning measures like laxatives or purging, it’s likely to end with your daughter feeling worse about herself, and her body in nutritional and metabolic imbalance.
The first step is to understand if she actually needs to lose weight. For teens who are at a healthy weight, the key is shifting focus away from diet and weight. Instead build a healthy foundation around her body wellness and self-confidence.
For those who struggle with their weight and want, or need, to lose a few pounds to improve their overall health, a similar, mindful approach is also the best approach.
Weight Gain Continues to Grow Among Teens
Before diving into how, let’s take a quick look at what’s happening with weight challenges among our youth.
According to 2018 CDC statistical data, overweight and obesity affected 73.6% of our population overall and 19.3% of all 12 to 19 year old’s.
Since the 2020 pandemic, overweight and obesity rates among our youth have increased to 22%.
When looking specifically at high school students, a recent 2020 survey revealed that 15.5% are affected with obesity with an additional 16.1% being overweight. Combined, we’re talking about 31.6% of all high school students.
But it’s not just weight on it’s own that’s the concern. The bigger issue lies in health conditions associated with unhealthy diets. These also have increased among our youth.
Most notably, high blood pressure and Type 2 Diabetes have dramatically increased among adolescents while an increase in auto-immune diseases related to diet is also being investigated.
Drivers of Teen Weight Challenges
Causes and Solutions
If it’s clear that diet (and related health) is an increasing concern for our teen population, then it’s important to identify and understand key contributors in order to make changes and overcome these obstacles.
For one, our food and diet industries are a major factor – a topic for a future article. Let’s suffice it to say there’s a history of placing profit over transparency and doing what’s healthiest for consumers. For teens consuming considerable amounts of media, they’re especially vulnerable to big brands’ alluring marketing and confusing “health” claims for their highly processed, nutrient-poor foods.
Other contributors include:
sedentary lifestyles
stress, anxiety & depression
lack of sleep
overeating, emotional eating
fad diets, elimination diets, fasting
Adding to that, is the fragmented, misleading, and often unsubstantiated diet, nutrition and body image information teens acquire through social channels and their friends.
The result is our daughters are forming perceptions, beliefs and habits around food, eating and their bodies that can negatively influence their eating, self-care and confidence.
It’s not just a phase our teens will outgrow.
If you recall the CDC weight statistic of 42% of our population, the larger majority of those affected are adults. The adult population most afflicted with this? Yep, you guessed it, women.
Our daughters aren’t outgrowing their weight and confidence challenges, they’re carrying them into adulthood causing years of struggle, related medical conditions, and dissatisfaction with their bodies.
In fact, this 10-year study of college women revealed “The younger a woman was when she started her first diet, the more likely she was to use extreme weight control behaviors like self-induced vomiting, misuse alcohol, and be overweight or obese when she reached her 30’s.” While there are likely varying contributors to those outcomes beyond dieting, age-associated dieting does seem to play contributing a role.
With growing weight challenges among our youth, and greater exposure to conflicting and confusing information, our role in helping our daughters to successfully navigate their long-term health and wellness is more important than ever.
Start by making the following positive, healthy lifestyle and mindset changes now. It could save your daughter, and you, years of struggle, health challenges and money.
Diet Habits and Body Image Beliefs Begin Early
Healthy Habits Matter
If your daughter has tried dieting, severely restricting her eating, or other unsustainable weight loss methods, she’s likely upset and overwhelmed with what to do next.
She’s done what the “diet experts” recommend and it hasn’t worked out. The result is she blames herself and calls herself a failure, further damaging her already fragile self-esteem.
For your part, you’ve tried supporting her, providing resources and information, along with moral and financial support. It’s difficult, exhausting and can be expensive with diet programs, doctors, dietitians, therapists, trainers and more.
The challenge is, as a high-school teen or college student she’s literally stepping into adulthood and establishing her self-image separate from you. All that she believes and does related to her body, nutrition and self-care are very closely tied to this new identity, including her self-worth and confidence.
If she’s dealing with weight challenges this is a formative time in her life to be set on a healthy lifestyle path, both mentally and physically. Once unhealthy habits and beliefs take seed, they become deeply rooted into adulthood. Creating a positive mindset and supportive habits that set her up for long-term success are essential.
Best Weight Loss Program for Teens
So how do you help your daughter and what’s the best approach?
The answer, to maximize long-term success and results, is take a lifestyle approach to her health and wellness rather than focus on weight, size or body shape
Focus on a daily diet based on nutritional quality that leads to long-term health
o Eat nutrient rich, plant-based meals on a consistent basis
o Minimize processed, packaged foods at home and on the go
o Reinforce healthy hydration: water in place of sodas and caffeine drinks
o Use healthier substitutes for weight-inducing ingredients like sugar, hydrogenated fats and simple carbohydrates
Encourage self-care habits that enhance wellness
o A nightly routine of 7-10 hours of sleep
o Journaling or gratitude practices to increase self-awareness and positive mindset
o Activities that build skills and boost self-esteem
Help her find movement and exercise she enjoys
o If she’s new to exercise or isn’t a fan of an organized sport or fitness program, start gradually with simple movement throughout the day.
Movement not only helps activate muscles to burn calories, improve balance and build strength but also promotes blood flow to the brain, contributing to reduced stress and better alertness, focus and energy levels.
Walking, stretching, dance, simple yoga or core exercises, are a few ideas.
o If she likes exercise, just remember it doesn’t need to be hard-core or stress-inducing. To ensure consistency and commitment, it’s important she have fun and gain satisfaction from her exercise routine.
o Break movement or exercise into shorter, more manageable segments to help fit in her day, or make it less daunting. Three 10-15 minute exercise or movement sessions can be as effective as a full workout.
Reduce stress and anxiety
o If she’s like most teens, she’s no stranger to stress and anxiety. Help find ways to reduce triggering events in her day
o Identify any activities or schedule demands that can be eliminated
o Create unplugged time fully relax and recharge
Most of all skip fad diets. The sad truth is that diets typically fail among most adults and especially among teens who lack the discipline and medical understanding of weight loss.
Traits for Successful Teen Weight Loss
Make it stand out
Now that you know some helpful solutions, you may be wondering why some teens are successful at weight management and confidence in themselves while others continually struggle.
There are three key contributors that make a significant difference.
Healthy Lifestyle Changes
Research has shown that most teens who lose weight and keep it off, have succeeded through consistent healthy lifestyle changes. They’re focused on eating and living well for the long-term. Making small and steady modifications to what and how they eat, how they care for their body, and their positive attitude about personal health is at the core of their success.
Personal Commitment
In my work with teen girls, the more personally committed they are, the more likely they’re to succeed long-term. Not only are they able to maintain a healthy weight but they also reap benefits in their overall health, body acceptance and confidence.
But here’s the catch - making the necessary changes and staying committed must be your daughter’s choice and her deep desire.
She must be willing to put in the time and effort to get the results she’s dreaming of, not you or anyone else.
Your daughter wants to feel and be treated like an adult which means she needs to be committed to pushing through the tough parts like an adult. It’s this empowerment that will fuel her success and keep her going.
If you have her assurances she’s ready to move forward, that’s where you come in.
Adult Support
As identified by Anne Fletcher’s research for her book “Weight Loss Confidential”, a key contributor for the most successful teens was having a supportive adult in their life that believed in their abilities and helped when asked.
Provide consistent, objective and non-judgmental support that lets her know you care and she’s not alone.
If you’d like additional support for your teen, contact Leslie to schedule a free initial consultation call
How You Can Help Your Teen With Weight and Build Confidence
The solution is found in 3 simple steps.
While most of this is up to her, here’s how you can provide support that will ensure she succeeds.
1. Teach Self-Empowered Action
When working with teen and college-age girls, my first step is to help them create self-empowered action. For each individual it begins with identifying her own realistic and achievable goals, based on her body and her life. Trying to lose more weight than is healthy for her height and age, or desiring a change in her shape that’s not physically achievable, is not a realistic goal.
Goal Setting
A goal-setting worksheet is a great tool she can use to begin this process. Using goal-setting involves setting clear and attainable goals that can be achieved in a reasonable and realistic timeframe. It can guide her daily direction of mindset practices and self-care to stay focused on what’s right for her body and improve her body perceptions.
Milestones
Once she’s established achievable goals, encourage your teen to set smaller milestones that allow victories along the way. By breaking it down she’ll be more likely to recognize tangible wins that help her stick with gradual, consistent progression. The reduced urgency will also aide in decreasing her stress.
These should include:
small, manageable shifts to her eating
incorporation of daily healthy habits (meditation, gratitude, journaling)
gradual increase with movement and exercise,
incremental improvements to her self-care (device-free time, sleep, hydration)
Instead of chasing someone else’s unrealistic ideal, she’ll take empowered action around a plan that’s designed for her body, ultimately improving her body satisfaction and confidence.
2. Set Her Up for Success
The next step you can take begins with critical changes at home. As part of her taking responsibility for her own results, it’s important to involve her in this step. Doing it without her can send a signal that you’re taking over and restricting her food choices.
Prep
Carve out time with her to conduct a pantry audit in your kitchen. Make decisions together to select and clear out less healthy, processed, or sugary foods, replacing with more natural and simple ingredient alternatives. There are so many great options in the market today that can be swapped in without sacrificing taste or variety.
Shop
Next, take her shopping with you to explore fresh, healthy options and allow her to choose what she’s most interested in trying. This will insure she’s more likely to eat these healthier options and it’ll prepare her for when she’s shopping and cooking on her own.
Note: she may not be comfortable with a clean sweep of all sweets or other favorite foods. Give her the time to gradually adjust and make decisions on her own so she doesn’t feel threatened, judged or unsafe.
Prepare
Finally, focus on preparing plant-based meals full of organic, non-GMO vegetables and fruits (whenever possible), as the core of her meals, rounded out with high-quality protein and healthy fats. If this is difficult, take a gradual approach to ease the transition.
For a complete reference guide, including a downloadable kitchen pantry cheat sheet, visit my Healthy Home Habits guide here.
3. Demonstrate Your Support
Showing support through your own actions is a powerful and tangible way of communicating you mean it.
make similar changes with your eating habits
join her in exercise
curb negative comments about your own body
She’ll notice and appreciate that her changes are positively influencing you or maybe even the whole family.
Get Help
For many parents, it can be a difficult and overwhelming process to navigate on your own. Maybe you’ve already tried everything, you’re overloaded with daily demands, your daughter would prefer outside support, or you’re at a loss for how to put it all together.
Support her by seeking out the dedicated assistance of a qualified health and life coach specializing in teens. Finding the right support can help guide her and give core strategies and tools that will help transform and achieve her goals.
Most of all, let her know you’re there for her. You’re letting her take the lead and only stepping in when asked. This signals trust for her while showing you care and will be there when she needs you.
Your Teen Will Thrive in Her Body and Gain Confidence
Now is a pivotal time in your teen’s life to set her on a path that gives her the happy, healthy and confident life she desires.
By shifting her mindset from weight, size and unrealistic body ideals, to focus instead on long-term health and positive self-esteem, you’ll provide her the foundational principles of a healthy life.
Through these and other simple yet progressive mindset and lifestyle changes introduced through coaching, your daughter will lay the foundation for a healthy future and gain greater confidence in herself and her body that lasts a lifetime.
If you’re interested in comprehensive coaching that will help your teen overcome her weight, body image and confidence challenges, contact Leslie to schedule a free initial consultation call.
We’ll explore how your daughter will benefit from health and confidence coaching through individualized 1-on-1 sessions or from peer engagement through group coaching. Her future is just a phone call away.